Top fantasy players for 2012 at each major position. QB, RB, R, TE, D, and my sleeper. Obviously I’m leaving out the kicker as it
doesn’t matter who you select, and let’s face it, the kicker is used to being
left out.
QB- Don’t gamble on “what-could-be’s” when you can pick
proven winners. Don’t take risks on Cam,
Vick, Luck, or RGIII, even though they may have a tremendous upside. If you do take a running QB that might gain
you a few extra STDs (Scrambling Touch
Downs. Not to be confused with the other STDs, like when Justin Blackmon
had an “inner thigh infection” before the Fiesta Bowl) you’ll need a strong
backup, as running QBs are more prone to injury. Your top picks this year should include Tom Brady, the world’s perfect human
being. Drew Brees. If you pass on
Brees and he beats you like a mean bounty hunter, remember I told you so. And lastly, how could you go wrong with Aaron Rodgers? He’s going to give you a bunch of “STDs” (go
ahead and laugh), and at least if he does have a bad year, you won’t have to
stomach the fat “cheeseheads” chugging Milwaukee’s Best, and screaming DISCOUNT DOUBLE CHECK every
time he scores. That got old in week 3 of last year. Stop it people! It's not cool anymore.
RBs- Don’t lose sleep picking your top running backs, as anyone in the top 15
could be this year’s #1. Including A.P. (His injury is making him work harder
on being faster and stronger. Scary.)
Matt Forte, Chris Johnson, MJD (no matter who he might play for), LeSean McCoy,
Jamaal Charles, Ray Rice, the list goes on...But for my fantasy entry money (Not true. Everyone knows gambling outside of the gaming commission is illegal, and myself or my friends would never do this.) this year is going to be an even better year for Arian Foster. He’ll win the
rushing title, he can score on the ground and in the in air, and with no
contract distractions and two good hamstrings (technically you have 3 in each
leg, unless you’re Usain Bolt. Then you
have four.), he’s going to score you the most fantasy points.
Receiver- Unlike the RBs, the receiving core gets thin right
away after the big names are taken, and guesswork comes in. But who is the best? This one, in my opinion, is the only
no-brainer, one-sided argument you can make.
Without fantasy points you could make a strong argument for Andre
Johnson, Roddy White, and Larry Fitzgerald.
But White’s production should taper off due to the emergence of Julio
Jones. Dre’ is 31 now, has battled injuries, and missed 12 games in the last
two years. And Fitzgerald, although
reliable, and probably the best hands in the league, has declining numbers,
mostly because the drummer for Def Leppard has a better arm than the jokers
they have in Phoenix, to throw the ball to him.
Your number one fantasy receiver is an obvious choice: Calvin
Johnson, a.k.a. megatron, and should be a top 7 pick on your draft boards.
TE- Jason Witten and Antonio Gates are great picks here, but
the real question is Gronk vs. Jimmy
Graham? Gronk, Rob that is, not to
be confused with his brothers Dan and Chris who also play TE and FB in the
NFL. Nice DNA Mr. Gronk, can I have
some? He’ll split catches with Aaron
Hernandez, so conventional wisdom tells you to take the athletic Graham. But how can you not like Gronk? Just say it.
Gronk. Cool huh? He’s easy to root for because he drinks beer,
dates porn stars, and gives interviews like the loveable dumb jock in H.S. that
grew up to be the P.E teacher. Last year he broke
the record for TDs by a TE (18) and finished with more receiving yards than all
but 5 wideouts! Say it again…GRONK!
D- The Niners
finished first in D fantasy last year, returning all 11 starters, and are my
pick to finish first again. They only
allowed 3 rushing TDs in all of 2011, and last year’s rookie Aldon Smith (14
sacks a year ago) is a year stronger, and wiser. By “wiser” I mean he knows he earns enough
money now that he doesn’t have to go to house parties to get drunk, where he might get
stabbed….oh wait…
Sleeper Pick- Tired of being photo-shopped out of family pictures
and always the one taking the
pictures on family vacations, Cooper
Manning spends the off season with Melky Cabrera and Lance Armstrong, comes
out of “retirement,” and wins this year’s comeback player of the year award. A year later we all wonder where he exactly
“came back” from?
