Zags Wine and Fans Whine.

Yes! The season has arrived! There are few times of year when I truly get a “sports boner” and this next week you might not want to stand in-front of me. There really is only one week a year when baseball, football, and basketball are all simultaneously crashing through my TV, and colliding into my eyes and ears, for one giant athletic orgy of emotions. I think this celebration calls for a drink.

Even the "Red wine" looks more athletic than
the Whites from years past.  Very nice blend. 

No, but really, in celebration of the new basketball season and in preparation of endless “Kennel” FB pics we’re all about to see, running through our timelines faster and more frequent than the self-pics-in-the-car-looking-at-the-road-with-glasses-on-pics, I’m going to combine a couple of my favorite topics for this months blog: making fun of Gonzaga basketball fans, and drinking!

The other day I was in Costco and I noticed that you can now buy “ZAGS” wine bottles…no seriously you can. So obviously I bought one, and here is my wine review: (disclaimer: I probably have drunk 5 bottles of wine in my life, so having me do a wine review is like listening to Jessica Simpson give a speech on the quantitative molecular physics of licking your elbow...Unless you count Franzia and Boones Farm in college, then I’m a connoisseur, so here goes.)
 

ZAGS wine: At first you’re skeptical about the wine this year, because you know that last year’s wine ended like the other past 12 seasons. The hype for this wine, although regarded as“Americas wine", is mostly a Northwest taste, especially significant in Eastern Washington. The colors are delightful. America’s colors.  And the packaging and labeling will get your taste buds salivating. You remember how at the end of last year everyone told you to “watch out for next years wine” "it’s going all the way". The preseason rankings of this wine, in most wine magazines, are like most as in years past. The “expert” wine drinkers rank it in the top 20 of all the wines in the Nation getting everyone excited again for wine season! At first when you smell the wine, you notice a strong, bold, odor that makes you think it really might be a top 15wine this year. But you know better. You know this wine couldn’t possibly be different from all the wines in the past could it? Could this wine really be the one?  This isn’t really as much of a “white” wine as in years past, this one’s much more athletic. 

So you taste it. You taste it with every positive, ban-waggoning, hopeful-its-not-overrated, taste bud you got. And to be honest, it’s not too bad! This wine starts out on your lips and hits the first of your taste buds with flair. These buds are in-charge of the salty/sweet portion of tasting, and boy is it. This wine will probably beat a few other good wines at the beginning of wine season that were also highly ranked, hence the “sweet” flavor you get. But, just like in years past they will also lose a couple of matchups they should’ve won leaving you with a hint of “salty”. But, thanks to the easiest wine conference in America, the ZAGS wine will coast through and beat almost every one again, bringing their ranking back up to 15-20 by the end of wine season, and ready for run at the final four wine championships.  And just like in years past, this years flavor of ZAGS wine might win its first matchup in the round of 64 top wines, and have everyone in Spokane buying wine and drinking it faster than Zag hoopsters on a Sat at Marquee. But they will undoubtedly lose to another wine in the second or third round leaving most fans with another“bitter” taste again.

After careful tasting, there will be some that consider this wine a success, and there will be some that consider this wine a disappointment. I on the other hand, will sit back and laugh at those that think that next year’s wine will be better just as they do every year.  And when I do taste next years ZAGS wine, I’ll be accompanying it with my Cougar Cheese, watching former ZAGS wine updates, as they prepare for a life overseas.  Hey, Europe has great wine!  Cheers! 

 

 

Future European standouts!!!